When Did We Start Believing We Couldn't?

Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped believing we were allowed to be exactly who we wanted to be.

Every week, someone says it.

"I wish I could wear that."

"I'm too old for that haircut."

"I could never pull that off."

"That looks good on you, but not on me."

After seventeen years behind the salon chair, I've realized something.

Very few people are actually talking about hair.

They're talking about themselves.

I've heard these conversations thousands of times.

Women who apologize for wanting bangs.

Men who second-guess the haircut they really want.

People who have spent months talking themselves out of doing something they've secretly wanted to do for years.

And every single time, I find myself wondering the same thing.

When did you start believing you couldn't?

People often tell me they wish they had my confidence.

They'll compliment my clothes.

My boots.

My tattoos.

The way I carry myself.

This week someone laughed and said,

"Girl, you could wear a feed sack and make it look good."

I smiled...

But later I kept thinking about what she didn't say.

She didn't say she didn't like my outfit.

She said she didn't believe she could wear it herself.

There's a difference.

Here's the truth.

I have insecurities too.

When someone sits in my chair and starts picking themselves apart, I usually end up telling them something I criticize about myself.

Not because I'm looking for reassurance.

Because I want them to know they aren't sitting across from someone who's never questioned herself.

They're sitting across from someone who finally decided those questions weren't going to make every decision for her.

Somewhere along the way...

Many of us stopped asking,

"What do I want?"

And started asking,

"What will everyone else think?"

Maybe it was one cruel comment.

Maybe it was growing older.

Maybe it was a relationship.

Maybe it was social media.

Maybe we slowly traded our own opinion for everyone else's.

Whatever the reason...

It happens more often than we realize.

The saddest part?

I don't think babies are born believing they aren't enough.

Little girls don't usually look in the mirror and decide they're too old, too big, too loud, or too different.

Somewhere along the way...

Somebody said something.

Or something happened.

And little by little, they stopped believing they could.

After all these years behind the chair, I've learned one thing.

Confidence isn't about never having insecurities.

It's about refusing to let those insecurities become the loudest voice in the room.

So maybe today isn't about finding confidence.

Maybe it's about questioning the story you've been telling yourself.

And asking one simple question...

Who convinced me I couldn't?

Because there's a good chance...

It wasn't you.

💭 Today's Truth: The stories we tell ourselves often began with someone else's words. We don't have to keep believing them.

Love,

Bawsey